Miss you Ba noi

In a week filled with midterms and projects, I hadn't had time to actual reflect on one of the most important dates in my life.

March 7th, 2013. I knew the anniversary was coming, but I didn't expect it to pass by me so quickly. I guess that's what happens when I'm in grad school...I lose track of time and dates.

Eight years...it's hard to believe it's been eight years since my grandma passed away. I remember where I was when I found out the news. I was waiting for my dad to pick me up after baseball practice when he called me, telling me "Have one of your friends take you home. Your grandma passed away." I just remember my heart dropped and just bawling my eyes out. I remember being in a constant state of denial and refusing to believe she was gone.

I remember within the first few days of her passing, she was all I could think about. And every time I thought about her, I couldn't help but cry.

I never got to celebrate any future birthdays with her. I never got to show her I graduated high school and undergrad. I never got to tell her I made it to USC. I never knew the last time I saw her was going to be our final goodbye.

Her passing was definitely one of the hardest things I had to go through. But I learned several important lessons. Death is inevitable and life goes on. It's a cruel fact of life. But it's also important to live life to the fullest, and live it with no regrets. Every memory I make, every person I meet, and every experience I have, means something. Life is too short, so make every moment count, no matter what is it you're doing.

Even though I still miss my grandma very much, I still treasured every moment I spent with her. It took me awhile to process my grief, but I eventually came to the conclusion that my grandma wouldn't want me to be sad. She would want me to have a smile on my face, just like hers.

And let me tell you, she had a smile on her face that could light up the room. She would always make sure I was well fed and I mean always. She constantly reminded me to get seconds, thirds, etc.

To my grandma, I was her little Tony (part of the reason why I like being called Tony or Tony Q). This was one of the last pictures I took with her and if I only knew, I would taken so many more. I miss my ba noi every day and if she could see me now, I hope she's proud of the person I am today.